To be honest it scared the crap out of me. But something about it stuck.
Blue and I, back in the day:
My sweet TB gelding, Blue, began having soundness issues after I graduated high school and it was a lot for a teenager to manage (financially and emotionally!). He was eventually diagnosed with navicular and although with a new farrier and some Recovery EQ he was eventually sound for the remaining 5 years of his life...I never jumped him again.
When I graduated college and began the search for a new horse. I think I unintentionally looked for the opposite of Blue. Blue was athletic and although grumpy on the ground, he was a kind and careful gentleman with a rider onboard. Blue was a more fine-boned TB and had a huge shark fin wither. Enter Apollo. He looked so sturdy and strong. He had a bit of a stubborn/wild streak after being left ungelded and unbroke at age 8. I was certain that this giant horse was my soulmate from the moment I set eyes on him. I couldn't wait to do all the things I hadn't been able to do with Blue for so long...especially eventing!
And then life happened. I had to put Blue down and took time off riding because I was a devastated wreck. I hurt my back quite badly in car accident. I had some terrible riding instructors that scared me off. I had no money. And I some point I stopped believing that I could do it.
Now after three months of soundness issues I have decided that Apollo and I will not be eventing this year. My heart tells me that he just isn't up to it. I will still be investigating the root of his lameness issues but I will be taking showing off the table. If he makes some kind of miraculous recovery I will happily re-evaluate.
I have decided to move Apollo and Mystic back to my old barn (where Henry lives). There isn't a lesson horse consistently available for me to borrow for my Wednesday lesson slot so there isn't much point to stay at the eventing barn. I also think it will be hard on me around show season to see everyone else heading out to shows. I have been there before with Blue and I don't really want to be there again.
Today at work I:
- Booked a hauler for February 1st
- Cancelled the vacation time I had booked for shows
- Gave notice at my barn
- Pouted excessively
So back to hermit riding status at my old barn. I'm still proud of myself for giving it a try and for taking lessons again. I haven't decided yet whether I will continue to take lessons at the dressage barn or not.
I'm trying to see some of the positives in this crappy changes of events. So here goes:
1) My husband and I are talking about doing a trip in early April to somewhere tropical (now that I have vacation time and more funds available)
2) I have two young horses that I am REALLY excited about starting in 2016. Like caps locks excited. They have a great "big brother" who will pony them around and teach them a lot about being a good citizen.
3) I'm going to focus my energy on paying off debt and saving money. My husband and I hope to buy a house by early 2016. I tell myself that it will be an acreage but it will likely be in the city. But you never know... :)
4) I'm also going to start saving for a trailer. Which I'm supposed to be doing now but I'm not.
5) Five horses that I know in real life (and a few more online) have passed away in the last three months. Although Apollo is not 100% I truly consider every day with him a gift.